IMDb

Sally
We put this movie in at 7:00pm. What felt like three hours later I checked the clock. It was only 8:20. This entire movie is 118 minutes long, but the last 40 minutes dragged on worse than the first 80.

Obviously this is getting an F, so instead of going into the many, many, many reasons why, let me share this one tidbit I found on Wikipedia: In 2007 Mitt Romney said the book this movie is based on is his favorite novel.

Next time someone talks smack on Obama, I’m just going to drop this on them. Barack’s favorite book could be Fifty Shades of Gray and I would still respect his choice more than Mitt’s.

Rating: F

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Ben
I know I own some crap movies in my collection, but even I have my limits. This classically bad film was given to me by a friend who got wind of this DVD blog and thought it would be funny to give me some really crappy films that I’d have to watch and review. I’m not sure why I continue to be this persons friend, although she does make really good cakes.

This film was released in May 2000 and one of the reviews I read for it said that it was the worst film of the millennium. This was a big call because the millennium was only 5 months old. Were they really saying there would not be a movie this bad made for nearly 1000 years? I had to be sure. I gathered up all of my friends and dragged them to see what was supposedly the worst movie ever made. I never expected to see this crap again, but then I forgot my friends are jerks and like to see me suffer.

The review I read has turned out to be accurate, so far. I’ve not seen anything this bad in years. The plot is stupid and unoriginal, but the writing is silly too. The dialogue is sometimes used to repeat things the audience already knows. A lot of movies repeat what has been said before, but generally it is because they are informing a new character. This film does not do that. It likes to repeat itself over and over to the same characters, and it really makes no sense.

The directing is awful. The only commendable thing here is the wide shots of the future where cities are dilapidated and run down after years of destruction from the evil alien Psychlos. The Psychlos are an alien race who invaded Earth 1000 years ago and have enslaved mankind to do their bidding. Some humans have avoided capture and live on the outskirts of Psychlo cities hoping to avoid capture. Jonnie Goodboy Tyler (Barry Pepper) is a human recently captured by Terl. He hopes to overthrow the Psychlos and rebuild the human race to be great once more.

John Travolta stars as Terl, the Psychlo head of security on Earth. Travolta is so bad in the role. He is there to chew scenery, but just comes across as a campy villain who looks like he belongs in the 60s Batman tv show. His makeup is laughable, every time I see his goofy looking six fingered alien hands I wanted to laugh out loud. He has the ridiculous looking dreadlocks and he resembles an overweight Predator alien. This is clearly a passion project for Travolta. The author of the novel that this film is based was L Ron Hubbard. He created Scientology, a church which Travolta is a member. You can tell Travolta is trying to honour his hero, but the result is just a mess.

The dialogue is awful, directing is ordinary, the story is unoriginal yet completely unbelievable too and the cast thinks they’re making Citizen Kane rather than a sci if action flick. This film might be good if it didn’t take itself so seriously. If the movie had been a bit more laid back, I feel like I’d have enjoyed it more. As it is, Battlefield Earth is currently the worst movie in my DVD collection. I wish I could give it less than an F, but I have grading rules to follow.

Rating: F